


My Own Prison

by jackiesjunkie



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Drunk Fic, LiveJournal Prompt, M/M, Song fic, Song lyrics at the end, i haven't written anything new so you're getting the old stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 00:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17032671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackiesjunkie/pseuds/jackiesjunkie
Summary: Ryan is having a moment of regret as he thinks about Oz, Cyril and how they wound up there.





	My Own Prison

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Livejournal drunk_fic prompt 206 - O'Reily only lets Beecher blow him when they are intoxicated. 
> 
> Ok, so I kinda detoured cause I've only got Ryan drinking.
> 
> Originally written and posted to Livejournal October 2006

He stared at the mason jar in his hand, once full of homemade liquor. He would have preferred to get high but he hadn't received a new shipment of tits since the last shakedown. It was better than nothing. All he wanted was to forget for a while. Forget what happened to his baby sister, forget Cyril's upcoming execution, forget Oz. Raising the jar to his lips again, he let the moonshine numb him of his pain. He coughed and let the jar slip through his fingers. Just before it dropped from his grasp, he felt someone pull the jar from him. Ryan focused his eyes to see Beecher standing in front of him. “Fuck off, man. I don't have any tits today.”

Toby glanced down at the jar in his hand. “There's no joy in drinking alone.”

Ryan sighed heavily. “Something you know from experience?” he asked sarcastically. “Just leave me alone, Beecher. Everyone who gets close to me gets fucked up.” 

“This is Oz, O'Reily. We're already fucked up.” 

Ryan groaned. “Don't remind me. I just want to forget for a few minutes that I'm in this hellhole.”

Toby tilted his head to once side and said, “There are better ways of forgetting than drowning the memories. I've offered before. If you will let me, I can help.”

He watched Beecher hesitantly. Shaking his head, he said, “I'm going to have to be a lot more drunk before I let you anywhere near my dick. Besides,” he huffed, “What would Keller say?”

Toby smiled. “Let me worry about Keller.” 

Ryan closed his eyes, what could it hurt? No one would know. It wasn't like they were going to have sex. God, he could hardly remember the last blow job he had received. Opening his eyes, he nodded at Beecher. “Just let me finish the booze first.” He took a deep breath and gulped down the last of the moonshine. Liquid courage burned through him. Beecher's whispering voice was beginning to get to him. He tuned out the words, everything but the feel of Beecher's hands on his thighs, his hips, his ass. His heart began to beat faster when Beecher dropped to his knees and nuzzled his face in O'Reily's lap.

“Just let yourself enjoy it,” Toby said as he slid Ryan's pants down far enough to release his half hard cock. 

Ryan gasped when Toby began to swirl his long tongue around the head of his cock. Having a larger hand fondling his balls wasn't as unnerving as he imagined it would be. Hell, he'd masturbated enough it wasn't all that different. But being in Toby's mouth was like nothing he'd ever experienced. No way would he admit to being gay, he wasn't. But damn, Beecher had talent. His thoughts were quickly losing their coherency. He quit fighting and let go. Digging his fingers into Beecher's hair, Ryan started pumping his hips against Beecher's face. It didn't take long until he threw his head back with a groan and shot his load down Beecher's throat.

Toby continued to suck until Ryan released his head. He tucked the Irishman's dick back into his pants and got back to his feet. Quietly, he said, “Oz may be the physical prison, but we make our own prisons in our minds. The choices we make can be more binding than chains. We can't change the past, all we can do is learn to live in the prisons we have created.”

......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"My Own Prison" Performed by Creed  
A court is in session, a verdict is in   
No appeal on the docket today   
Just my own sin   
The walls are cold and pale   
The cage made of steel   
Screams fill the room   
Alone I drop and kneel   
Silence now the sound   
My breath the only motion around   
Demons cluttering around   
My face showing no emotion   
Shackled by my sentence   
Expecting no return   
Here there is no penance   
My skin begins to burn   
So I held my head up high   
Hiding hate that burns inside   
Which only fuels their selfish pride   
We're all held captive   
Out from the sun   
A sun that shines on only some   
We the meek are all in one   
I hear a thunder in the distance   
See a vision of a cross   
I feel the pain that was given   
On that sad day of loss   
A lion roars in the darkness   
Only he holds the key   
A light to free me from my burden   
And grant me life eternally   
Should have been dead   
On a Sunday morning   
Banging my head   
No time for mourning   
Ain't got no time   
So I held my head up high   
Hiding hate that burns inside   
Which only fuels their selfish pride   
We're all held captive   
Out from the sun   
A sun that shines on only some   
We the meek are all in one   
I cry out to God   
Seeking only his decision   
Gabriel stands and confirms   
I've created my own prison


End file.
